Change is good

Today: You know you've hit the peak of laziness when you are too lazy to even go get your nails done. Too lazy to get pampered! What a dork I am.

Song: I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love. You cut me open

I have been in a rut lately. A major rut. I have been unhappy most of the past month and that's not small, coming from a naturally happy & optimistic person like me. There are many things that I need to evaluate and change in my life. This just happened to coincide with my turning 30 recently but I still don't have a complex of being that age. That being said, I realized that I need to think about who I want to be, what kind of future I want to have. Things needed to change and today I have made one of those changes. After 7 years I am finally leaving this job. In recent years it has made me unhappy and bored. The atmosphere of the company has changed also and I am not the only one unhappy here now. I am not paid enough nor do I feel appreciated anymore. I spoke with my VP last Thursday to tell him I'm leaving. He offered me another position with more money but in incentives only, not raising my base salary. He kept pressing and I told him I'd think about it and I did. I decided to ask for a ridiculous raise (35%) and see what he said. I had nothing to lose anyways. At worst he could say no and I can leave which was my original plan anyways. Or he could say yes and I can tough it here for another year or so and at least make more money (to ease the suffering of working here!) and pump up the resume. He said no. So I am leaving. And I feel incredibly happy and free. Sure it's scary, stepping off a ledge with nothing to land on, but I'll be ok. At worst a lateral move would be fine too as long as I enjoy whatever it is I'm doing. I have done the math and I'll be good for 2 months without work so I'm off to relax and look for what makes me happy. My life starts today. Take a deep breath.