2 posts tagged “new”

Today: You know you've hit the peak of laziness when you are too lazy to even go get your nails done. Too lazy to get pampered! What a dork I am.

Song: I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love. You cut me open

I have been in a rut lately. A major rut. I have been unhappy most of the past month and that's not small, coming from a naturally happy & optimistic person like me. There are many things that I need to evaluate and change in my life. This just happened to coincide with my turning 30 recently but I still don't have a complex of being that age. That being said, I realized that I need to think about who I want to be, what kind of future I want to have. Things needed to change and today I have made one of those changes. After 7 years I am finally leaving this job. In recent years it has made me unhappy and bored. The atmosphere of the company has changed also and I am not the only one unhappy here now. I am not paid enough nor do I feel appreciated anymore. I spoke with my VP last Thursday to tell him I'm leaving. He offered me another position with more money but in incentives only, not raising my base salary. He kept pressing and I told him I'd think about it and I did. I decided to ask for a ridiculous raise (35%) and see what he said. I had nothing to lose anyways. At worst he could say no and I can leave which was my original plan anyways. Or he could say yes and I can tough it here for another year or so and at least make more money (to ease the suffering of working here!) and pump up the resume. He said no. So I am leaving. And I feel incredibly happy and free. Sure it's scary, stepping off a ledge with nothing to land on, but I'll be ok. At worst a lateral move would be fine too as long as I enjoy whatever it is I'm doing. I have done the math and I'll be good for 2 months without work so I'm off to relax and look for what makes me happy. My life starts today. Take a deep breath.

"I have to tell you a secret....

From the first moment I met you, I knew we were supposed to be together"

So I'm sure most of you know by now that there is a new boy in my life. I hadn't wanted to talk about him until I was sure. I met him last summer while I was still with the previous boy. I found him to be fun, outgoing and easy to talk to. He was one of those rare people that I instantly clicked with, but it wasn't in a romantic way at all. I still remember thinking that he would make a good friend and we did become friends. Things didn't work out with the previous boy and I and a few weeks later, we broke up. Fast forward a few months and current boy and I are becoming better and closer friends. He calls, writes, emails, texts (you get the picture) me pretty frequently. I reciprocate but am not thinking of him in romantic terms...yet.

We see each other during mutual friends' get togethers and it is apparent to everyone around us that there is something there. At this point, I sense that his intentions aren't totally platonic but don't want to admit it or really even entertain the thought. We're friends, I thought. I'm not interested.

We start to spend time alone together. And the "wooing" begins. Operas, dinners, expensive presents, surprises. What girl wouldn't be swept off her feet right? But this is exactly the reason why I hesitated even more. One, I know myself. I'm very fickle. And he's a friend. I didn't want to possibly ruin the friendship by giving in now only to lose interest later. Two, I wanted to get to find out more about his character, his integrity and judge him on that. I'm too old to waste time on boys that I know are wrong for me anyways. Three, I didn't want to be wooed by the superficial things. I didn't want to like him for the things he could buy me or give me.

After much thought and time spent together I came to the realization that he was possibly everything I was looking for. He had all the superficial qualities I liked - Korean, older, successful. Add to that the fact that he was charming, funny, incredibly thoughtful, sweet, romantic, honest, loves to take care of me. And then there were the deal sealers - he turned out to be one of the very few men that I could actually respect and he is an alpha male. A man's man. 

Our transition from friends to more was so gradual and natural that neither of us can really pinpoint the time we actually started dating. Who knows where this will go and what it will lead to but so far, this is very different and new from anything else I've experienced before. Yes, the possibility of it being something big is very real but surprisingly, I am not that scared.

"In case you haven't noticed by now....I really like you a lot"